Apart from a guess-the-weight competition for a jar of jellybeans when I was 10 years old I have never won anything. Literally - nothing. Not one thing.
And I certainly have never even been considered for even, like, two seconds for any kind of industry award.
Here's where you come in. No, I'm not going to hit you up for cash: it's worse than that.
The Observer Food Monthly has a new Blogger section in their awards this year. I am never going to win it in a billion years, even if you all vote 18 times under different names from hacked IP addresses. But I badly, badly, BADLY want to be on some top 1000 longlist somewhere so that I can print it out and show it to my grandchildren so that I'm not just that funny cat lady who smells like soup.
I have already voted for myself. If you feel so inclined to waste your vote on me, (consider it a protest vote -I am the Monster Raving Loony Party of food bloggers), you can vote here. Apologies for the slightly torturous process.